His (a song that forced me to face me)

_ ,., her man shows /up
,., she's done him /wrong
,., he pulls his /gun
,., to end her /song

_ ,., the time has /come
,., for what you've /done
,., he pulls his /gun
,., he pulls his /

_ gun out, sticks it in her mouth
_ "suck that, honey, payback now
/lay flat, down on the ground, don't face me
_ don't hate me, baby, cuz lately

_ I've been dying to meet you half wayly
_ sky's grey, shade hazy, you craze me
you /rape me, you make me less than a man
/hold my hand when you're happy again"

_ that's when he started slappin her and, man
_ she remembers how it used to be when, then
_ all of the sudden, WAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM
"maybe /this is all my fault," runs through her head, and

_ he's well aware of everything he could have did and
_ shoulda been, woulda but didn't give in and
_ she's so pretty, but he pulls back the hammer
/two bullets left, only one of them's for her


_ ,., her man shows /up
,., she's done him /wrong
,., he pulls his /gun
,., to end her /song

_ ,., the time has /come
,., for what you've /done
,., he pulls his /gun
,., he pulls his /


_ trump card, laying out in the yard
_ "bring me a beer, come here, it's getting hard
_ you're getting scarred but I'm getting what i want
_ you're getting hot? baby GIMME what i want!

_ I want you, and I mean every last drop
_ I want to taste your face, until your heart stops"
_ blood sucker, bad lover in the place
with a /_ bad picture of his mother to replace

_ "you could be so much more to me if ya
_ just do what I please, now please, hunny
_ love me, but you best respect me, and
_ take care of the best you've seen yet"


_ ,., her man shows /up
,., she's done him /wrong
,., he pulls his /gun
,., to end her /song

_ ,., the time has /come
,., for what you've /done
,., he pulls his /gun
,., he


_ lays gracefully, lazy and wasteful
_ full of hatred and pride, what a spectacle!
_ chin-checkable to make you want to wreck a fool!
_ look in the mirror now _ it's gettin clearer, wow

_ she's a child in the arms of a grown man
_ so vulnerable, to your cold hand
_ hold that heart softly and tender, then
drop to your knees, you forgot to defend her

_ all I'm saying is maybe dude is you
_ all I'm saying, dude is maybe me too
_ all I'm saying, it's a two way street
she /buys me groceries, I'm making a beat

_ taking a seat in the passenger side of her
_ old van, I'm broke, we're both tired and
_ no joke this time I'm so spent
/feelings of lament, relent, she's heaven sent

--------

For the record:

I wrote this song after a bad fight. I was dealing with some wild emotions, and I needed a way to vent.

I was reminded of a shooting that had taken place about a month prior at a kiddie nightclub around the way from where I lived. Some guy had showed up at the spot with a gun, shot a bunch of people (including his girlfriend), and shot himself. I wondered what it would take for someone to actually go that far, and I started to imagine a scenario.

Before I knew it, I found myself face to face with frighteningly real emotions. I saw that I was full of bitterness, hatred, rage, malice, fear, anxiety, depression, apathy, and a whole slew of mess! As I wrote, I started to confront these things inside of me.

In the first verse, I was trying to imagine the mindset a person would be in to do something so horrific as to kill the one they love. That person must have felt cheated something awful! "How unfair!" was probably heard bouncing around in their heart and mind. Lists of all the things ever done against them and blame for all the emotions they felt-- all pointing to that one person. The progression towards that moment. The reluctance and the finality.

Verse two put me up against another challenge. Altercations are NEVER one-sided. What was HIS role in all of this? As I continued, he became the antagonist of what caused his own hurt. He was consumed with his own desires.

In verse three, I took a step back and tried to see it all as the big picture. Depression "lays gracefully, lazy and wasteful, full of hatred and pride," and excuses us from considering others. This song isn't only about "him;" it's about you and it's about me. We let our feelings become our excuses, and what is the result?

In the end, all of my woes fade away when I realize: God has something better for me. That I have something, even now, worth being thankful for!

and a couple more things:

The woman in most of the song is not anyone in particular. She represents sort of a collage of people and experiences in the past that come with hurts and regrets.

The man in the song is meant to portray the listener. For the sake of the story, he is a man. He represents wrong behavior, and is NOT someone to be glorified or uplifted. He is a point of view to be identified and dealt with.

The only part of the story that is actually real is the very end:

"she /buys me groceries, I'm making a beat
_ taking a seat in the passenger side of her
_ old van, I'm broke, we're both tired and
_ no joke this time I'm so spent
/feelings of lament, relent, she's heaven sent"

My wife bought me groceries before we were married. She owned a broken down, beat up van that only got anywhere by God's grace. She TRULY IS A GIFT TO ME FROM GOD! <---(This has actually been confirmed through people speaking prophetically to us! God's so fresh. Shut up!)

Thanks for reading that. I know it was long. Hopefully, you're excited to hear it recorded.

Love you much.